As we build friendships with students at youth, how do we know they are growing? How do we know if we need to push a little harder or what kind of questions do we need to dig into or where do we need to put our energy to help them grow ONE STEP closer to loving God?
So this is just some common language we will use around youth leaders to help us meet the needs of each student. Every student is different, but this will help you "put them on the map" of their discipleship journey.
Who: This is the student who showed up with a friend, dropped in because it looked cool, or is basically just there to check things out and have a good time.
This student has come less than 4 times in the year so far and so they wouldn't yet consider themselves a part of the community. They are just visiting.
Goals: What's our goal with a student like that? Welcome. We want to be a place where ANYONE can show up and be known. So we just want them to know they are welcome.
Our job: Learn their name (if they are in your group), invite them in (to activities or conversations), connect them with the other students.
Expectations: Depending on their background they might not have community expectations. That's okay. We want to be extra patient and forgiving. They might swear or not believe in God or not know how small groups work. If they stick around, we will help them learn what it means to be a part of the community.
Who: This is the student who has moved beyond visiting and attends at least semi-regular. They have friendships at youth, they are known by you as a leader.
This happens when a student has come more than 4 times. At that point we can consider them as beginning to identify with the community.
This is where we begin to track their spiritual journey. All students start at this stage, but the spiritual distinction of students who remain in this stage is that they haven't yet expressed Gospel Commitment (that means, they haven't identified with Christ as their God and King through and expression of wanting to follow Jesus; repentance and faith). When you mentor students, they are on a journey. Not all of them will have a specific moment of "coming to Jesus" but it would be weird for someone to become a disciple of Jesus and not begin to express that in some way. So, many of our students might still be on that journey (anyone who's been here 4 weeks to 4 years). They are exploring. They aren't identified yet with Christ, but they are identified with our community. One step at a time. You might see some of your students and they have come to church for a long time, they may go to Christian school, but they are not yet expressing personal discipleship to Jesus and there isn't Holy Spirit driven life change. So, they aren't a disciple of Christ, but they are exploring God.
Goals: We want to help students take ONE STEP towards loving God each week. So, for these students our goal is to help them explore and experience God (and let the Holy Spirit work). We might want to (depending on the student) invite them in to a relationship with Jesus.
Our job: We are clear that attending youth and looking Christian isn't life-saving discipleship to Jesus, but we also affirm their journey, walk with them every step, and invite them to follow us as we follow Jesus (in the right time and right way). This is where mission starts: we build friendship, provide mentorship, connect them to community, and invite them into conversation around exploring and experiencing Jesus.
Expectations: Once students become regular attenders, we expect them to understand the community guidelines. Even though they may not be disciples of Christ yet, we do expect them to behave with respect, contribute to a positive community, follow rules and instructions, and see themselves as part of the community. As far as discipleship expectations, it would be hard to expect a student to become like Christ, to commit to personal relationship, or to shape their life in a kingdom of God way. These students may have differing views of the world, they might make different life choices outside of youth, or they might not express Christ the way we would want a disciple to, and honestly they might not know they aren't a disciple of Christ yet, but we expect them to engage kindly and intelligently and to use youth as a space to explore if they want to shape their life as a part of God's kingdom or not.
Who: this is a student who has made or started to make an expression of faith as a follower of Jesus. The spectrum is wide in maturity and depth, but this is a student who has begun to express Jesus as God and king (whatever that looks like for them), is beginning to shape their life as a kingdom of God citizen, and is expressing desire to know and experience God deeper. This is a definitive shift from "Part of the Crew" who attends youth but we aren't hearing them express or seeing them live to follow Jesus. This student would not only express themselves as a Christian, but so would those around them. Not every student has a strong, clear line between these stages, so it is our job to recognize change, coach that expression and desire into recognizable action, and to walk with them as they understand what it means to follow Jesus as a 12, 15, 18, etc, year old!
Goals: We want to help students express when they are ready to make that step into a life-long journey with Jesus. We also want to be present with them as mentors during the ups and downs. And finally we want to create space for them to explore, ask, experience, pray, and develop as a disciple.
Our job: To give them language in the right way and time to express faith in Christ (what does it mean for you to be a disciple/follower of Jesus?), to mentor/disciple them through the ups and downs (through friendship, conversation, prayer, etc), to help them cultivate personal and corporate relationship with God (worship, prayer, repentance, etc), to give them space to process and explore the questions that will come up along the way, and to help them have a life-long faith in Jesus.
Expectations: This is the stage where we start to be able to hold students accountable to what it means to follow Jesus. So, no longer are we holding them accountable to community rules but we are helping them understand what it means for someone to live as a disciple of Jesus in the kingdom of God. We expect them to grow. If a student is expressing using the same language and questions, and is still acting the same way as they were a year ago, we probably need to push them. All of us have up and down seasons, but that's why we have friends and mentors, to help us to know what we need to take one step closer to loving God and others as we follow Jesus.
Who: Think of these as lego blocks. You need the foundation before you can build higher. It's not that any student moves on from a stage, but they build on it. Once students belong they might take the step of becoming a disciple of Jesus. As they mature in their faith or get things sorted out (this happens at different times for every student and in different seasons), they will begin to hear God's voice calling them to become the ones who reach out to help others on their journey. These students are ones who begin to show signs of listening to God's voice and obeying through mission. That can take many shapes and forms, but it might look like serving, living missionally, inviting friends, praying for other students, or any other way of becoming a part of God's mission. This is the shift when students start to look outward. It is not that they have moved beyond their own questions, but they are looking beyond their own needs because they are compelled by God's mission.
Goals: Our hope for these students is that they find their unique calling from God, begin to serve, and develop into disciples who hear God's voice and act.
Our job: We need to recognize when students are in a season when they are close to taking this step and then create opportunities for them (this might look like: leading small group discussion or prayer, challenging them to do Alpha at their school, or getting them connected to serve). We also need to be involved in their lives, coaching them and participating ourselves. Hopefully as a youth leader you have seen yourself become a disciple maker.
Expectations: We begin to be able to call these students to harder and more Jesus shaped lives. At this point, accountability becomes a joy because students have caught the vision of Jesus but need help getting there. So when they get lazy, when they begin focussing on only their own journey, we can call them to something better. Being missional inside and outside of our youth community.